Saturday, April 7, 2007


ok ...today i finished watching when the levee's broke,and yep they broke alright..i guess me and the girl was always avoiding it..but really i always wanted to watch the footage of the acts that were going on while we were stuck there..well i had my moment the past couple of days..i was reliving it all over again..right now i am so alone in this,very scarry..mills is in NOLA this weekend at a wedding..the other night we started to watch it and she was getting so upset that i decided to turn it off..so i took the oppertunity to watch when i was alone...now i have come up with all these realizations about all of this...
1}i am still going through this everyday of my life...
2}it is hard to talk to people about it,why?cuz they can't even imagine what went on.
3}NOLA is special,i miss my culture,heritage,music,food,
but now i am going through a whole bunch of emotions..i love what i am doing now..but i have all these haunting memories about what has happened and what is going non now..but really all in all we are lucky about what happened to us..we got rescued,and not by no other goverment agency and end up in tennesee or something like that..we got our animals out and alive..
man when the movie started to describe how it felt i could finally relate..i explain to people that man i know what heat is..i actually know how much abuse and deplesion of my body can go through..i have this good friend,and man i really think of him kind of a mentor,no need in name throwing,but man he listens and i can tell..and sence we have been hanging,he pulls alot out of me,and mills to the other night.but i told him the other day about our last day there,and how we had to imprve our escape.and man i really felt when i was telling him the story he really got a sence of what i went through..
cuz you know when i went back home it was weird.it was like everybody has there stories,but they evacuated..people that have gone back are a victim in another way than mills and i..we went through it,and they have heard all these rumors of what happened to us.but really all they are dealing with is the aftermath.so they are victims of that part of it..so really i felt akward telling our story..by all means i don't feel like i went through more than they did,but what i am doing now i fell is the best thing for me..and that is staying away ...
you know i even tried to sread the word about our expeirence for the washingtonpost.com..and man the girl turned into her own thing based on racism....she edited that film and never ever mentioned anything about my story...obviouslly she didn't care about the hurricane,it was about race..how fucked....it positive but man i felt like me being here and how i am dealing with this in a positive way to show my people that hey i am thinking of yall,i miss them,i want to be with them,and i wont forget,but this girl ruined it for me,now it is something i don't even want my parents to see...
you know i have grown up so fast in the past 2 years...and my life has chaged so much too...
i am a bike messenger..i ride through my emotions..i think all day long..i work for the elite company,and man i am riding with the best of them..i ride and ride..i think and think...its a challenge,and i think that what has happend to me i feel like i can work through anything..i have never rode my bike in snow and freezing rain...but i have carried 6 cats on my bike to get out of NOLA...i have never rode my bike up a hill with gust of 30 mph,but i have sat in a house in 1 of the most severe hurricanes...man i have always loved cooking and rididng bikes,i seen years ago this documentry pedal..it was all about messengers,and i said to myself,that would be so cool to do it...2 years ago i would have never imagined this...i am still in shock about it..i wouldn't want to be doing anything else...its not so much the lifestyle that comes with it...its that i am on my bike,the best therapy i need...man i can go on and on...but i know when i am down and out...this is the best thing for me..my cycling friends and my bike.....and i love my girl and my animals...if it wasn't for them man i don't know where i would be...
i just need people to understand what is going on.....we are here,and yes we do have a chip on our shoulders...and if you can't realize this,then you are really not worth my time...and when you think that life is hard here,think of the thousands of people that are still fucked by this event..and maybe even cosider that hey this guy and girl have been through alot of life changing things and maybe i can learn a couple of things from that...but most of all....never forget about us.....T-COURT

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